Monday, 25 May 2015

Feeling Unmotivated

This is certainly not a boohoo feel sorry for me and woe is me blog post but I have been feeling seriously unmotivated recently. I don’t want to do anything or even get out of bed and if I do it’s to get food. How awful is that? Just to get out of bed for food.

This post was brought on by a number of things; another blog post I read, my sister being worried about my health and the fact that when I was sorting my clothes out at home, I can't keep any of them from last summer as I've gone up 2 clothes sizes in a year. Yeah now I'm worried.

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I used to look like this 4 years ago, and I also still have this dress. It's too pretty to get rid of. Just gunna go cry now.


I honestly need to get a grip and pull myself together. I know everyone says “Oh I’ll have a Netflix day” I do this whenever I’m not working. If I’m home then I’m in bed and Netflix is on. This is certainly not a way to live my life. Seriously how am I living like this? (although Once Upon A Time is so good and you should start watching it right now, like leave my blog and come back to it later, it is THAT good).

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I recently read Emma from Essays and Wine Post about her weight and how she is dealing with that. I sat there crying for a good hour because I knew exactly how she felt. I could have a seriously great day but I could easily come home and eat a bag or two of crisps, sharing ones that is. It’s disgusting.

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This was only last year. A year ago or so, that's a seriously drastic change in 3 years.


My biggest fears? I won’t get married or have children. This is all I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember and I know guys automatically friend zone me because of the way I look.

The biggest fear of all though, has to be the one that I’m going to end up killing myself because of all the awful food I put in my body. So why can’t I stop?

I am basically destroying my insides and I can’t stop. If you have the answer I will love you forever. Someone save me from this madness.

My sister has actually text me a number of times in the past few weeks practically begging me to try and get motivated because she’s worried about what I’m putting into my body. This in itself has hit a nerve and has really made me think that I’m ruining my life by it.

What’s worse is that this is actually the only part of my life I wish to change. I’m amazingly happy with my blog, I’m planning my trip of a lifetime, I’m going to be back with my family soon and I have people I can turn to when I need to. I also have a whole load of plans to go places and events to attend. In these aspects, I am in the best place I have ever been and for that I am unbelievably grateful. I know that opportunities are going so come knocking soon so I will be staying patient.

Does anyone have any tips for me to get back to healthy eating and exercising? Help me get motivated again please!

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16 comments

  1. Personally I think you look wonderful as you are, but I know that when you're down in yourself nothing others can say will fix it. I tried the DW forty days of fitness challenge to kick me into shape. Doing a small bit each day made me want to challenge myself and get up everyday. Following healthy fitness bloggers kept me on track too. The fact you've noticed the problem and you want to change it says that you absolutely have it in you to change your circumstance. It's the mental issues and lack of belief in yourself that will make you feel otherwise. Email me if you ever need a thing! Now that you've got it all off your chest you can start to make a difference and there are so many bloggers out there that will support you!

    Jess
    Philocalist.co.uk

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  2. Adele I'm so sorry you feel like this. I know how it feels to put on weight and not be able to fit in to clothes you've previously worn. I've gone up 2 dress sizes and I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see, but I'm trying to still love myself.

    It's all about balance, don't feel angry at yourself, just try to make slightly healthier choices but still allow yourself to eat the things you want. Also you're not killing yourself, you can be healthier and look after your body. And I promise you not every person will look at you and friend zone you, people will see you as the gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, funny, caring and awesome person you are, your size does not define you. You are still the person you were at 2 sizes smaller, you've just lost a bit of your confidence, but can can get it back <3

    Always here if you need a chat, you've got this girl, baby steps, little changes and don't be mean to yourself, you need love and support and you've got to give it to yourself.

    Emma xxxx
    Writing Essays With Wine

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  3. Maybe try and find healthy alternatives to things you like? My housemate eats really healthily and she has loads of good recipes here:https://thecoconutkitchenblog.wordpress.com
    I found that buying a slow cooker really helped as its so quick and easy. Plus I've read some great recipes on different blogs like banana pancakes, and if you freeze a banana and then blend it apparently it tastes just like ice cream!

    My diet is very up in the air, I have some super healthy days and a lot of really not healthy days where all I want is crisps, ben and jerries and dairy milk oreo chocolate! AND CAKE! :P Its so hard to stay motivated. I gained a stone in my final year at uni and just can't seem to loose it. Still, small changes help right?! :P

    I hope that links works/gives you some nice ideas!
    Becca x

    www.butterflybecca.com

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  4. Oh Adele! This post seriously made me well-up and cry - I am so so sorry you are feeling so down and unmotivated. You are absolutely beautiful inside and out, but I understand if you are worried about your health and feeling down. I went through a similar thing when I lived in Finland for a year as part of my degree, and I would just eat and feel down because I missed my family so much and was just miserable. I put a lot of weight on, and just lacked confidence completely.

    When I moved back home after the year was over I felt happy to be with everyone back home, but then I had put all that weight on and couldn't find the motivation to shift it! I then decided to sign up for a 10K run for charity, just as a motivation to try and get fit and start running as I really struggled with the gym! I also tried some YouTube work out videos (The Lean Machines is a great channel!) - as again I really didn't want to go to the gym. Then in terms of food, I decided to try the 5 day 2 day diet, where you cut your calories for 2 days a week to 500-600 calories (and water counts as none!), which I felt really, really worked for me as I am now back to my size 12 and as you only cut down for 2 days it didn't really feel like a diet!

    I just wanted to comment saying I know it is hard, and your health and happiness are two of the most important things. You are such a lovely, gorgeous girl and you will find your motivation <3 xxxx

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  5. Aw hayley thank you for your comment! I'm so glad you got back to a happy place :) maybe I should sign up for something small so I have no choice but to get training! I'll check out the channel and the diet, although I've never got on with any diets I've tried before, but there's no harm in trying this one!

    This is one of the nicest comments ever! thank you! xxx

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  6. Those recipes look insanely good! I'll add them to my shopping list!
    I love having a slow cooker, they are great! And I'll try out the pancakes, someone told me about them the other day actually!

    Ha I love you clearly have your favourites for an unhealthy day ;) It is very hard sometimes, little steps!

    Thank you for your comment though lovely xx

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  7. Ah thank you lovely! It was just a bit of a shock when I was going through my clothes and I realised they were only from last summer, it was quite devastating!
    I'm going to start the week/pay day with a healthy shop and I'm on the hunt for a load of new recipes so fingers crossed it will make a difference! xxx

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  8. Thank you so much for your comment lovely! I think I'm just going to take each day as it comes so that it seems a bit easier, there's too much looking to the future instead of living in the now! xxx

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  9. Aw Adele I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling so down about this! I'm a compulsive eater, I just like to be eating and I know that will never change! I have tried to change WHAT I'm eating though, little by little. I know it sounds boring, but I eat a tonne of carrot sticks and pepper slices and cherry tomatoes these days as snacks in the evening. I literally eat until I can't eat anymore! And after a while I've begun to crave them! I'm not perfect, far from it, I pigged out the other night and ate so much chocolate whilst my hubby was out that I was up at midnight doing guilty squats to try and counter some of it.

    When we're at Center Parcs I know there is going to be a LOT of food around and I'm trying to plan ahead some healthy options to help me cope and keep a bit of balance. Plus I'm taking my weights with me to get a bit of extra exercise. If you want to cook some healthy bits and pieces with me or come for a little workout maybe we can keep each other motivated?

    Always around if you need a chat too x

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  10. Look at the name of your blog. Adele's Journey To A Better Life. This shows that you were once motivated, and as a matter of fact, you still are. because you're still posting on here. Just keep your head up and remember that those who judge people because of the way they look are just shallow. Be you and be great. xx

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  11. Oh sweetheart! I want to give you a great big cuddle. You'd be surprised how many girls will come out of the woodwork with you and say, thats exactly how I feel. I've been there - I went from a size 10 to a size 16-18 in a year without even realising and when I hit the stage you're at now, I didn't think there was a way out of it but believe you me, there really is. It won't happen over night and it's all in little stages but you'll get there.

    Everyone will give you different tips and advice which is fab, you just need need to decide what's for you whether it's gym, changing your diet or whether it's a mind over matter thing. The gym literally changed me - they say it takes 21 days of doing something for it to become a routine and unfortunately it does take that long, well it did for me lol, but now I go like 5 days a week and actually miss it when I don't go (find a gym bunny is an idea!)! But saying you want to change is a huge step, plus the name of your blog is "journey" and that's what it'll be and you'll have so many people supporting you:)

    I've got a few healthy recipes on the blog that you can try (can't promise it won't give you food poisoning though haha) but take a look at all the advice and decide what's best for you and your life style :)

    You're so beautiful anyway and I loved meeting you the other week and I can't wait to see you again soon hopefully! This comment is a bit pointless and a bit rambley and random but whatever you do, be happy doing it! xx

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  12. Weights been a huge battle in my life. More mentally than physically actually most of the time x

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  13. That's very true! I've definitely managed to get some motivation back now :) xx

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  14. I've only got healthy bits in my fridge at the moment which is lucky! I could eat cherry tomatoes all day! aw bless you!

    Haha yeah that's a good idea! It's going to be difficult and unfortunately there probably won't be any way round it! The food is just too good there ;) Unfortunately my parents don't like the American Diner we're going to so I haven't been in years and I can't wait to go again! They do some damn good cocktails there! Thank you for your support lovely! xx

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  15. Yeah I always tell people it takes 21 days to build a habit, should probably take my own advice ;) Yeah I know i'm always on the journey but I seemed to have crammed so many things on to my plate and I need to take priority to some bits!

    I will check out your blog for your recipes! I seemed to have run out of recipes I want to cook (I have no idea how!)!

    I know I'll get there, it's just the bad days that seem to outweigh the good ones!

    I can't wait for West Midlands Meet, it'll be so much fun! xx

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